10 Questions to Break Free from Life's Stickiest Challenges
10 Questions to Break Free from Life's Stickiest Challenges
Have you ever had that sticky residue on something that looks gross, or keeps attracting dirt, or even keeps it from moving well? Maybe you have something that was once useful firmly attached to your wall, or maybe you applied stickers to your car that looked awesome at some point, but are now faded, cracking, or no longer represent your views. Even just a book with a particularly stubborn price sticker can be frustrating to deal with.
How can you get rid of that stuff without causing too much damage? Luckily, the internet is full of all kinds of advice, from home remedies to expensive chemicals. You can try peanut butter, rubbing alcohol, toothpaste, lemon oil, a paint scraper, or even Goo Gone. There are plenty of options, and one of them is sure to be successful.
It’s a little more complicated when there’s something in our life that’s stuck. You might feel boxed in at work, or have relationship problems you don’t know how to resolve, or feel like you can’t even reach any of your smaller goals, so the big ones seem completely out of reach. It can seem overwhelming when you don’t even know where to start.
There may not be a simple collection of items to run through, like there is with sticky substances, but I do have a list for you that might be helpful. Sometimes we need to approach a problem from a different perspective to start working through it, and these questions can be your own personal arsenal to loosen up problem areas in your life.
Ten Awesome Questions to Ask Yourself to Help You Get Unstuck
1. What else might be related to you being stuck?
Brainstorm and be limitless about what else might be going on. Something that seems unrelated might be holding you back. For instance, you might have unresolved trauma in your past that is blocking your progress. Finding ways to identify and work through those things might clear the way for significant progress in other areas of your life.
2. Are the thoughts holding you back truly original to you, or have they been acquired from external sources, like an unwelcome influence?
Sometimes intrusive thoughts or negative outlooks are something you can pick up from other people like a nasty virus. Ask yourself where these ideas came from, and see if you can identify conversations or experiences in your past where you may have accidentally internalized them.
3. What concrete evidence do you have to support being stuck in your situation?
Are there options you haven’t tried because you simply assume they won’t work? What have other people done in your situation? Are you really stuck, or is it just taking you longer than you hoped or expected to get to the next stage?
4. Is it possible that your thoughts are an exaggeration?
It might be good to get some feedback from trusted colleagues, professionals, friends or family members about your situation and your perspective of what’s happening. Sometimes we can make situations seem more difficult than they actually are.
5. What is the opposite of your situation?
What would that look like? What factors can you identify that are different in that hypothetical reality?
6. What contradicts your thoughts about being stuck?
Again, are there things you haven’t tried? Have other people been able to overcome these issues—even though sometimes it took them more than one try? Is it possible this is just a season that’s going to pass?
7. Are you selecting only the evidence that supports your thoughts?
An example of this is saying that you’re bad at relationships and citing three or four that haven’t worked out, while skipping over the long-term, positive relationships in your life. If researchers come to conclusions while ignoring much of the data, we call their results invalid. Don’t invalidate your perception of your situation.
8. What is the worst-case scenario?
If you never get “un-stuck,” on conquer this particular hurdle, what will that look like? What could you do to make things better at that point? Making a plan to handle worst-case scenarios can sometimes help you stop worrying so much about them.
9. What is the best-case scenario?
If you figure out how to get your momentum back, and what you want finally happens, what will that look like? Then what will you do with your situation? Could there be even better scenarios for you?
10. How might an important or respected person to you interpret this situation?
This is a good time to think about growth mindset and dive into examples from people you admire and who have been successful at what you’re stuck on. How would they frame this situation? What would they try? Would they see this as a roadblock, or is it possible it would just be a learning experience and interesting challenge? Learn from those who have gone before!
Like the list of things to try to remove unwanted stickiness in your life, this one isn’t a cure-all. But applying them to the more difficult situations you find yourself in might yield encouraging results!
If you still need extra help figuring out where to start, or what to do when you think you’ve identified the problems, come chat with me during my free office hours on Facebookevery 2nd and 4th Saturday at 11 AM MST, orcontact me on my website, and let me help you work through some of them!